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For me it's the obvious, lack of sleep! When I had Carter I felt tired from the broken sleep but I've never felt exhaustion like I have over the last month. I'm so tired that many days my whole body aches. At times I've cried at just the thought of having to get up to get myself a drink. My body is just not use to such little sleep!
Carter was a dream sleeper (and still is). Our first night home with him, Dan and I both got 9 hours sleep. It was broken into 3 hour chunks but it was still 9 hours. And it continued like that until he started sleeping longer and longer, getting up to 12-13 hours straight a night. To this day he still sleeps 11-12 hours straight. We had a few tiring nights due to teething or sickness but over all they were few and far between.
Lincoln on the other hand is no where near being a dream sleeper. That being said, he's not a bad sleeper, he's just a normal newborn sleeper. He usually gets one good chunk of sleep (3-5 hours) but then they go to 2 hour chunks and every other night or so I'm up with him for 2+ hours at a time. I have occasionally asked Dan to take over when Link is fed and just not sleepy, but Dan's been watching Carter all day, every day (and Link too when I try to nap) so for the most part I'm on my own at night. Now that Dan's back at work it's a little harder because my only chance for a nap is if I can get both kids to nap at the same time, which is not an easy task!
The other contributing factor to my exhaustion is breastfeeding. Anyone that has done it knows how hard and tiring the first few weeks can be while your supply is catching up. It's almost non stop nursing. Luckily, Link is starting to get on a three hour schedule which is doing a lot for my sanity. Until the next growth spurt that is! And the other plus is that it eventually becomes easier then the alternative since it's always there and ready! Not to mention all the health benefits for both of us that make it worth it no matter what!
Since Dan has gone back to work this week I've started to really see how life has changed for Carter. Before Lincoln was born Carter had our attention almost all the time. And when we were at work, he had gramma or papa here. He has always been fine playing on his own if we were cleaning or cooking but other then that we have been almost constant entertainment for him.
The good news is, although we definitely have our moments (tantrums and tears like never before), for the most part he is adjusting really well. He is eating at the table, sometimes by himself for breakfast or lunch, without someone reading to him. He's playing on his own a lot while I'm nursing or comforting Lincoln. And yesterday he played in the backyard by himself (while I watched from the kitchen). I think the last one was harder on me then him but in the end I got to see the benefits of his new found freedom. He managed to get toys out of the deck box that previously required our assistance, he bumped his head without a tear (what's the point if there is no one there to kiss your boo boo), and he managed to get himself unstuck from his play house window. So in the end, as hard as it may be, I really see these adjustments as good ones for Carter. I think it will give him more independence and confidence. Lately if I'm feeding Lincoln, and Carter throws something, I will threaten to take it away but he says "I take it away" and he throws the toy in the laundry room and shuts the door!
And last but not least, is poor Pancho! He loves Carter and Link but he's not a fan of losing a lot of his attention. After Carter was born Pancho started sighing a lot. His sighs have increased since Lincoln was born. When Carter came home from the hospital Pancho would run to his room when he cried the first few weeks. He has never done that for Link. And one night when Link was sleeping with us and started crying Pancho jumped off the bed and in to a chair in our room to sleep, which he had never done before. Poor doggy!
All in all, I think these are just regular adjustments going from one child to two. As exhausted as I am it is all worth it! I wouldn't trade my life and family for a thing!
I mean, who wouldn't want one of these...
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