He's 3

Ahhhhhh....we made it through the holidays. I love Christmas. Love it! But with two little ones it comes with a lot of stress added on to all the excitement. For Lincoln, it meant an interrupted routine, not eating enough (because he's too interested in everything around him to eat), and not getting to nap as much as usual. Anyone who has had a baby knows you have about a 5 minute window to get your baby down smoothly. Miss that window and you can guarantee you'll spend more time getting them down then they will sleep. For Carter, it means the occasional missed nap (tho, his naps are sporadic as it is these days) and a lot of emotions, good and not so good ones.

As an adult, or even an older child, excitement can be a lot of fun. I spend most of December being excited for Christmas. I love hearing Christmas music everywhere I go and shopping in busy stores (crazy, I know!). I love picking out gifts for people and doing Christmas baking. The thing is, I know what to expect. I know that we will get together with friends and family on multiple occasions over the holidays. I know when those get togethers will happen, who will be there, and when they will be over. I know that we will wake up Christmas morning, open presents, and then head over to Dan's parents place for the day. Carter, on the other hand, doesn't know what to expect. He knows that we are excited and he is too because he feels our excitement. But it is also overwhelming. A lot of comings and goings. A lot of unknowns.

Carter prefers to be at home (or at Gramma and Papa's since it's like a second home for him.) He wakes up in the morning asking if we are going to have a "lazy day", which to him means no going out, or if it's a "gramma day". If it's anything but one of those two types of days it's met with resistance. So it makes sense that when we are lacking in good old lazy days or gramma days, that it gets to be a bit much for him. Here he knows what to expect. He knows our routine, what his options for food/drinks are, where everything is, when his nap will be, and where he'll go the bathroom (yes, that one is very important).

There were a couple of occasions over the last two weeks where it was clear that it was a bit much for him. Like when we went to his baby group Christmas party and he sat on the drive-way refusing to go in. We compromised and agreed to go in for 10 min and then leave if he wanted to. He didn't. In fact he begged me to stay when it was time to go home. Other times that it was clear it was too much was when he would cry over what seemed like nothing, when he'd stick his tongue out instead of responding to a question, or when he'd hit someone (sorry Great Essey!) instead of saying hello.

Initially when these things were happening I was embarrassed. I felt like we must be doing something wrong. That we aren't teaching him proper manners, or...who knows. But then I realized, along with the help of some friends dealing with similar situations, that none of that it true. He's 3. That's it, he's 3. Although we can and should limit the amount of overwhelming situations for him, it's a part of life and would be a disservice to him to eliminate them all together. What we can do is just be understanding of where he's at right now. He needs us to keep things consistent whenever possible, to try to let him know what to expect, to listen, to make sure he gets a say, to be forgiving, and patient. We don't need to change him, or stress out about what we are doing right or wrong. We just need to love and accept him for who he is right now. Because he's 3, and by the time he's 4 or 5 he will have mastered skills that right now seem like too much, and then he'll face new challenges. It's all a part of life.