Memories

Well, the time has come again. Time for me to say good-bye to spending all day every day with my boys. Those that know me well, know this past year and a half has not been easy on me. Starting with 7.5 months of "morning" sickness, followed by 9.5 months of sleep deprivation that at times was so bad that I didn't know how I was going to make it. But that's not what I am going to remember.

I'm going to remember how excited I was to find out we were expecting. I'm going to remember sharing the news with friends and family, and cutting in to our blue cake! I'm going to remember seeing "JoJo" on the ultrasound machine, and the first time I got to hold my sweet baby boy in my arms. I'm going to remember the look on Carter's face the first time he saw Lincoln and how he compared his body to Lincoln's. I'll remember the first time Lincoln got to meet our friends and family, near and far.

Most importantly, I'm going to remember all the wonderful times I've had with my boys. Like the times Carter said "let's have a lazy pajama day and cuddle on the couch mum," and the times he would cry when Lincoln had to go have a nap because he "loves him." Learning all about dinosaurs, whales, and planets - "you be a blue compsognathus mum and I'll be a t-rex!"  Getting to watch Carter go from being a toddler to a funny, sweet, sensitive, and smart little boy. And watching Lincoln go from being a little baby to a little guy with loads of personality! Also, my days laying in bed cuddling with Lincoln all day so we could both try to catch up on some sleep. And seeing a smile that lights up a room every time he woke up and saw that he was laying next to me. I'll remember dancing with them both in the family room and the first time I saw Lincoln "dance" on his own. I'll remember all the extra family time we got to have and how blessed Dan and I are to have each other and our perfect little boys.

When I was on maternity leave after having Carter I made 9 new friends whose friendships I will cherish for the rest of my life. I will remember our play dates that went from 10 babies to 19! This time, I was lucky enough to have made another 80 friends. That's right, 80! Some of them have listened when I needed to talk, some have reminded me that I wasn't alone, some have made me laugh, some made me cry, some gave advice, some supported me, and some at times made me crazy. Some did all of the above! One kept me sane (you know who you are!) Time will only tell what will happen to all of those friendships, but I will definitely remember them fondly as well.

So although it's been a rough year and a half, it's memories like these that have made their mark and will stick out in my mind when I think back on this time.

He's 3

Ahhhhhh....we made it through the holidays. I love Christmas. Love it! But with two little ones it comes with a lot of stress added on to all the excitement. For Lincoln, it meant an interrupted routine, not eating enough (because he's too interested in everything around him to eat), and not getting to nap as much as usual. Anyone who has had a baby knows you have about a 5 minute window to get your baby down smoothly. Miss that window and you can guarantee you'll spend more time getting them down then they will sleep. For Carter, it means the occasional missed nap (tho, his naps are sporadic as it is these days) and a lot of emotions, good and not so good ones.

As an adult, or even an older child, excitement can be a lot of fun. I spend most of December being excited for Christmas. I love hearing Christmas music everywhere I go and shopping in busy stores (crazy, I know!). I love picking out gifts for people and doing Christmas baking. The thing is, I know what to expect. I know that we will get together with friends and family on multiple occasions over the holidays. I know when those get togethers will happen, who will be there, and when they will be over. I know that we will wake up Christmas morning, open presents, and then head over to Dan's parents place for the day. Carter, on the other hand, doesn't know what to expect. He knows that we are excited and he is too because he feels our excitement. But it is also overwhelming. A lot of comings and goings. A lot of unknowns.

Carter prefers to be at home (or at Gramma and Papa's since it's like a second home for him.) He wakes up in the morning asking if we are going to have a "lazy day", which to him means no going out, or if it's a "gramma day". If it's anything but one of those two types of days it's met with resistance. So it makes sense that when we are lacking in good old lazy days or gramma days, that it gets to be a bit much for him. Here he knows what to expect. He knows our routine, what his options for food/drinks are, where everything is, when his nap will be, and where he'll go the bathroom (yes, that one is very important).

There were a couple of occasions over the last two weeks where it was clear that it was a bit much for him. Like when we went to his baby group Christmas party and he sat on the drive-way refusing to go in. We compromised and agreed to go in for 10 min and then leave if he wanted to. He didn't. In fact he begged me to stay when it was time to go home. Other times that it was clear it was too much was when he would cry over what seemed like nothing, when he'd stick his tongue out instead of responding to a question, or when he'd hit someone (sorry Great Essey!) instead of saying hello.

Initially when these things were happening I was embarrassed. I felt like we must be doing something wrong. That we aren't teaching him proper manners, or...who knows. But then I realized, along with the help of some friends dealing with similar situations, that none of that it true. He's 3. That's it, he's 3. Although we can and should limit the amount of overwhelming situations for him, it's a part of life and would be a disservice to him to eliminate them all together. What we can do is just be understanding of where he's at right now. He needs us to keep things consistent whenever possible, to try to let him know what to expect, to listen, to make sure he gets a say, to be forgiving, and patient. We don't need to change him, or stress out about what we are doing right or wrong. We just need to love and accept him for who he is right now. Because he's 3, and by the time he's 4 or 5 he will have mastered skills that right now seem like too much, and then he'll face new challenges. It's all a part of life.

Patience is a Virtue

I never fully understood the importance of patience until Carter became a toddler. Anyone who has lived with a toddler knows that it's like living in a mad house. This person who is now walking and talking clearly, gives you the false impression that they are now a rational and reasonable human being. Wrong! One minute they are playing happily and the next they are crying that you gave them the wrong colour spoon, cut their sandwich the wrong way, or that you didn't make that Lego figurine jump the right way.

Although there is an array of logical reasons for their behavior, it can sometimes be like figuring out the most difficult mathematic theorem. However, one thing I have learned is that no toddler "fire" can't be put out with just a little patience.

Here is one of many examples of this from this past week:

The other night Carter was extra emotional. He hadn't napped in three days and it was definitely catching up with him. Unfortunately Lincoln was also having an emotional night. With the two of them whining simultaneously as if they were trying to make music, I was ready to pull my hair out. Carter was whining because he wanted us to play with him and then he was whining because we weren't playing right, or because he wanted help, but then because he didn't want help. I was cleaning up from dinner and getting more and more frustrated, to the point where I finally yelled "Carter! Stop whining!" I instantly felt guilty because I hated hearing that when I was a kid. Realizing that we were not getting anywhere by both getting more upset, I stopped what I was doing, grabbed his hand and walked him upstairs. He cried the whole way. I sat on his bed and just hugged him while he cried. After about a minute he stopped crying and sat down on his floor. I got down there with him. We talked about how sometimes we just need a break from what we are doing when it is upsetting us. I then asked if he wanted to read his book "when I'm feeling angry." He said no, that he wanted to read "when I'm feeling sad." After reading the book and talking about it we agreed that we were ready to go back downstairs. On the way down the stairs Carter said "I'm sorry for whining mum." Again, I instantly felt guilty for even uttering the words. I apologized for yelling. The rest of the night went so much better. The whole thing took about 5 min. If I hadn't taken that time to help him (and me) to take ourselves out of the situation it would have only gotten worse, not better.

Now, to try remember this whenever things get stressful. It's amazing what a 3 year old can teach you!

Carter Speak

My favourites from today:

*after realizing he peep on the toilet

Carter - ahhh, SHOOT! (at least it wasn't another sh word! :)

*after he "accidentally" pooped on the bathroom floor

Carter - I wish I was an adult!

Sara - why is that?

Carter - So I could pick up poop

*while I was putting lotion on him after his bath

Carter - I want to play with my ship

Sara - ok, just let me finish putting your lotion on you

Carter - so the ladies will loooove me!

New Me!

I'm 12 lbs down from the day I got married, the day I found out I was pregnant with Carter, and the day I found out I was pregnant with Lincoln. I had been that weight for far too long!

Luckily, I have the best motivation there is, my boys. I look at them and I'm so excited for the future. To get to watch them grow and learn is the best gift anyone could ask for. I'm so blessed, and how could I not want to enjoy it to the fullest!

They deserve to have a healthy mum. A mum who isn't tired all the time and a mum who has energy to run around and wrestle with. A mum who feels good about herself and who doesn't avoid being in front of the camera like it's the plague. And a mum who will teach them by example how to live a healthy life.

We never know in this life which day will be our last, but I want to make sure I don't do anything that will speed up the process!

I can do this!

Toddler Talk 2

I just love listening to Carter talk. The things he comes up with amazes me, or cracks me up, every day. Here's a few from the last 24 hours.

Yesterday, when I came down from feeding Lincoln and getting him down from nap Carter said "How's Link doing, mum?"

Carter told Dan he learned something at school. Dan reminded him that he doesn't go to school yet. Carter said in a very angry tone "yeah I did dad, when I was all. by. mySELF!"

He has started saying "this tired me out!" but yesterday, while play with his leap pad, he said "I'm getting tired of this!"

This morning as I was watching Dan and Carter walk down the pathway out front Carter turns to look at me. He pauses for a second and then says "just don't pinch your fingers in the door!"

Love him!

Dear Lincoln

Dear Lincoln,

First let me say, I know this looks to be the same exact letter that I wrote your brother when he was 6 months, but I really do hope the same for both of you, and couldn't think of a better way to say it (sorry, I blame your lack of sleep for my lack of creativity!) :)

At only 6 months, you are already growing up so fast. Yet, you are still so perfect in every way! You do not lie, cheat, or steal. You do not gossip, judge, or hate. You accept anyone and everyone. You love unconditionally and never hold a grudge. You only want for what you need, and you need very little to be happy. I thought I would take this time, before time gets away on me, to let you know some of my hopes for you as you grow up.

I hope that you cherish your family and your friends. In life, very little can make you happier than the people you surround yourself with. All good relationships have both give and take so make sure to treat others as you would want to be treated. Treat strangers with respect, as they could someday be your friend. Try to give people the benefit of the doubt as it's so much easier on you and them. 

I hope you always know how special you are and that you always accept who you are. There may be times when you don't know exactly who that is, but that is all part of the journey. If you accept that and give it time it will become clearer. If you ever feel completely lost and lonely, I hope you know you can always come home for a reminder of who you are (and lots of love and hugs!) Always know that you can do anything you set your mind to. It may be a challenge at times, and you may need to ask for help along the way, but you can do it. 

I hope you can find success in your life. Success is not a dollar amount, a certain job, or who your friends are. It's finding the things and people in your life that truly make you happy. There will be things you have to do in life out of responsibility and obligation, but always try to make time for the things that make you happy! Try not to take anything too seriously. All hard times pass in time, and happiness is just around the corner.

Last and certainly not least, I hope you always know that your dad and I love you unconditionally and always will! We aren't perfect, and we don't expect you to be either. We will always be there for you to help you through any challenges you encounter. We will always try to listen first, and talk second. There will be times when we disagree but we will always try to see your point of view, and we just ask that you do the same in return. We will try to guide you without being overbearing, and to lead you by example. We promise to always provide a place for you called home!

Love,
mum

Carter's Birthday Weekend

Well, my little man turned 3 today. We had a weekend full of parties to celebrate. First there was the party with his friends. There was: 

Swimming

Food

Cake

Fun

Friends

Ball Pit

Then Sunday we had the family party:

Link hanging out with gramma

Three kings

Fireman in the house

Showing off his muscles

Kustermann's Berry Farm

For the last three years we have gone to a farm on the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend. Here are some pics from this years outing:

A Zoo of a Day!

Yesterday was definitely a crazy day. Well, crazy for me anyway. Mostly because 10 min before we left for Greenview Aviaries Park & Zoo Dan realized he was coming down with the flu Carter and I had early in the week. So we went on without him!

Things were not looking good on the way there. With in 5 minutes on the road I knocked Carter's drink all over the floor of the van and had to listen to him say repeatedly "don't do it again mum!" Then he realized his lovey had "crusty's" on it, which later turned out to be poop! Awesome!

The rest of the ride was actually really nice. Lincoln slept the whole way so Carter and I got to chat. He even taught me how you play catch. It went like this:

Carter - "Mum, I want a big football"

Me - "oh yeah, maybe we should put
it on your wish list."

Carter - "do you know how to play catch?"

Me - "yes, I do!"

Carter - "What you do is, you throw the ball to someone and they catch it. Then they throw the ball to you and you catch it."

Me - "sounds like fun."

Carter - "do you want to play catch with me some time?"

Me - "I'd love to!"

Luckily I had help there and Carter had his buddies Connor, Evan, and Keira there to keep him occupied. I think the best thing I heard all day was Connor's realization about Lincoln's gender while I changed Lincoln's diaper.

Connor - "Lincoln's a boy!?!"

Me - "yes, what did you think he was?"

Connor - "a girl!"

Me - "nope, he's a boy!"

Connor - "So when he grows up he's going to have a big penis?!"

Me - "Most likely!"

Gotta love em'!

Here's the one picture I got all day! Being a single parent at the zoo for the day with two kids doesn't leave much time for picture taking. Luckily I have some on order from Jay and Kelly! Unfortunately Keira had gone home by this point but seeing how she preferred the tractors over the animals, she would have fit right in!

Father's Day 2012!

We celebrated a day early this year. When I went in to Carter's room to get him this morning the first thing he said was "dad open his presents now?" and it was followed by "can Linky come to Father's Day too?" The rest of the day followed with as much excitement. As I like to do, here is our day in pictures....

Carter keeping Lincoln company while we make Dan a surprise Father's Day breakfast!

Mmm, blueberry pancakes!

Gifts for Dan!

Our home made gift!  

After Dan opened his gifts Carter asked if we had any more for gifts for dad. I told him no, but that we were taking dad out for lunch. He turned to Dan wide eyed and said, "You so lucky!!!"

Before lunch we got to go see Evan at Little Gym but unfortunately I forgot to bring my phone in with us to get some pictures. He did great though!

Then Carter and Dan took their dad's out for lunch to Boss Hogs! We could have fed twice as many people with the amount of food they gave us. Oh, and Linda's eyes are open in a picture - it's a Father's Day miracle! :)

Both boys had a nap on our way home!

We decided to let them sleep!

Then the water fun began!

Splish splash!

Dan made it rain!

Until Carter got a hold of the gun!

Payback!

Blocking!

Visit from a ladybug!

Cranky baby!

Nothing a soother and a blanket beside his face won't fix!

Nap time for daddy and Pancho! (until one of the boys squirted him in the back of the head!)

Drying off!

Someone's hungry!

Bedtime stories with all the boys!

As of 8:30 all the males in the house were asleep. I'd say that's a sign of a great day!