Being a Mum

Being a mum.

I love being a mum. I wake up each day excited for what the day will bring. I love watching Carter grow and learn. I love the way he shreiks with excitment when I go in his room in the morning (or even at 3am!) and the way his eyes light up when Dan gets home after work. I love the way he watches Pancho's every move and even how he opens his mouth when Pancho walks by him so Pancho can sneak him a kiss (or how he then smiles when we yell at Pancho to stop and Pancho walks away). I love how he spins in circles so much in his jolly jumper that it gets all twisted and he can hardly touch the ground, and how he catches me every time I try to take a candid picture of him. I love how he stops crying when I take him in my arms and how he loves my singing regardless of how awful it is. To me, he is absolutely perfect and I love him more then I have ever loved any one in my life (Dan a very close second - sorry hun!) There are times when I am laying on the couch with him while he naps and I just stare at him. I could do it for hours on end. 

I also find being a mum one of the hardest jobs anyone can have. This little human relies solely on you to take care of his every need. If you think about being solely responsible for someone else's every need you can imagine how hard it would be, and then imagine it with someone who can't tell you a single thing. You have to spend each day trying to anticipate their every need to avoid a meltdown - most likely from him and yourself! You eventually learn some of their cues and can tell when they are hungry or tired (or pooping, though I haven't learned that one yet), but then you wake up and there is a new cry and you have to try to figure out what it is. You'd think it would be easy, I mean, how many things could it possibly be, but when you've tried everything you can think of and your poor baby is still crying it could be exhausting trying to figure it out. You start questioning everything - is it something I ate?, am I not making enough milk?, did he not get enough sleep?, did he get too much?, does he need to start solid foods?, am I stressed and he's feeling it?, and the list goes on! 

And last but not least, being a mum is a HUGE responsibility. Aside from taking care of their every physical and emotional need, you are responsible for who they become as a person. They may have certain personality traits that are ingrained in their DNA but there is still a lot of who they are left up to you. You determine how much they learn in the crucial first 3 years of their lives (and you have to be careful not to over stimulate them or it can backfire), how they will treat others, the confidence they will have in themselves, the way they take care of themselves, and the list goes on. You have to make sure that you think about how what you do and say will affect them. For instance, Carter has a little whine that is absolutely hysterical. However, Dan and I have to make a point not to laugh when he does it as we don't want him to think we are laughing at him when he is upset. Other things are not so obvious, like letting a baby cry it out to fall asleep. Is it better for the baby to learn to fall asleep on their own (and therefore ensuring a well rested baby that is ready to learn and grow), or for them to feel that you will always tend to them when they are upset (and therefore ensuring confidence that you will always be there). 

Now, as you can see, being a mum is a big job! And the best way for me to ensure that I am setting the best example for my beautiful son is to make sure that I take care of myself. By living a healthier life I will ensure that I am able to make the best decisions I can for him until he learns to make them for himself. I will also ensure he learns how to be and stay healthy, that I will be able to play with him at the park and that I will be around to watch and help him learn and grow for many years to come. Then someday I just might be able to help him when he becomes a dad!