The Time Has Come

Well, it’s officially time for me to say good-bye to spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with my little man. It’s also time to say good-bye to Monday afternoon baby group, impromptu shopping trips with Andrea, Malibu lunches with Ashley, water fun with Heather and her clan, and play dates with Kristine, Jenn, and their bundles of joy! Of course, leaving Carter is going to be the hardest part but I will miss all the rest just the same.  

What a year and a half it’s been! When we found out we were pregnant we thought the timing was perfect. Although I was at a new job I would have enough time to get comfortable with the job before being off. Of course, our little monkey had other plans. The next 7 months consisted of morning sickness that I would never wish on anyone! Although the doctors said it should get better at 12 weeks, 16 weeks, 20 weeks, etc., they were wrong!! It did ease up at the end of the pregnancy but I still had trouble if I tried to get up early and do anything. On the plus side, I got breakfast in bed, daily massages, and 12 hours sleep a day for the whole 7 months. Too bad I couldn’t save up some of that sleep for the sleepless nights that lay ahead.

On October 14, 2009 at 9:20pm (after 20 hours of labour and a C-Section) Carter McKenzie Craig was born! The next 10+ months were the hardest and best of my life. Mostly the best! Of course we had our moments (usually with Carter and I both in tears because he wouldn’t eat or sleep and Dan trying to tell the two of us it will be okay), but we spent most of the last 10 months experiencing a joy like no other. It makes the sleepless nights and missing out on nights out with friends worth it!

Taking the Just Beginnings course through the health unit was definitely one of the best things I could have done after having Carter (thanks Kelly for suggesting I do it!). I had read somewhere that it’s a good idea to join groups like Just Beginnings to find a friend or two with a baby around the same age as your own. I was lucky enough to find 9 new friends!  Every one of them have been so helpful, supportive, and understanding that I can’t even put into words what their friendship means to me! Although we are all going back to the working world over the next few months, and can’t continue to meet every Monday afternoon, I sincerely hope we all remain friends for a really long time. If only we could synchronize the next round of “cute-stuff’s.” At least we have Facebook where we can continue to ask each other questions, bounce ideas off one another, see pictures of the babes, and of course, share shopping ideas!

As I head in to the last weekend before going back to work, I am going to try to focus on the things I am so grateful for instead of what I will miss out on. I am so blessed to have a beautiful, happy, and healthy little guy and I’m so excited to watch him learn and grow. As far as jobs go, I’ve got a great one! And as many of my “mom” friends are stressing over daycare for their little ones, I realize even more how lucky we are to have Dan’s mom watching Carter for us!

The Perfect Man

The Perfect Man…

• First and foremost, he’s not perfect because that would be annoying!
• He’s very funny, honest, forgiving, and a great friend
• He loves me for all that I am, inside and out
• He loves the dog he never wanted like he’s one of his kids
• He made me breakfast in bed every day for 7 months while I had morning sickness
• He gave me a massage almost every night while I was pregnant
• He would do anything for his son, including doing lunges for an hour each night with baby in arms just to stop him from crying and to help him fall asleep
• He comes home from work and immediately spends every second he can with his little guy, including putting him to bed each night to give mommy a break
• He helps me clean whenever I ask for help even though he thinks the house is already clean
• He watches Y&R every night with me even though he can’t stand it – though I think he secretly loves it
• He plays with my hair at night when I can’t fall asleep
• He gets up at night to help with the baby even when he has to work the next day
• He challenges me, but respects my thoughts and opinions
• He listens when I need to talk about something

Though, he also….

• Keeps a pile of clothes on the ironing board in our room and then puts them all in the laundry basket right after I do the laundry
• Does the dishes but always leaves at least one dish in the sink, and never wipes the counters
• Conveniently can’t stand the feel of wet or warm clothes, making it impossible to do laundry
• Is afraid of spiders, which means I have to get up in the middle of the night (after he screams like a girl) to kill them for him
• Insists on controlling the TV when we go to bed at night even though he knows he'll be asleep in two minutes


Dan, thank you for being all of these things! I love you!

Dear Carter

Dear Carter,

At only 6 months, you are already growing up so fast. Yet, you are still so perfect in every way! You do not lie, cheat, or steal. You do not gossip, judge, or hate. You accept anyone and everyone. You love unconditionally and never hold a grudge. You only want for what you need, and you need very little to be happy. I thought I would take this time, before time gets away on me, to let you know some of my hopes for you as you grow up.

I hope that you cherish your family and your friends. In life, very little can make you happier than the people you surround yourself with. All good relationships have both give and take so make sure to treat others as you would want to be treated. Treat strangers with respect, as they could someday be your friend. Try to give people the benefit of the doubt as it’s so much easier on you and them. When you wrong someone, an apology can go a long way. Some people aren’t meant to be in your life forever and that’s okay. 

I hope you always know how special you are and that you always accept who you are. There may be times when you don’t know exactly who that is, but that is all part of the journey. If you accept that and give it time it will become clearer. If you ever feel completely lost and lonely, I hope you know you can always come home for a reminder of who you are (and lots of love and hugs!) Always know that you can do anything you set your mind to. It may be a challenge at times, and you may need to ask for help along the way, but you can do it. 

I hope you can find success in your life. Success is not a dollar amount, a certain job, or who your friends are. It’s finding the things and people in your life that truly make you happy. There will be things you have to do in life out of responsibility and obligation, but always try to make time for the things that make you happy! Try not to take anything too seriously. All hard times pass in time, and happiness is just around the corner!

Last and certainly not least, I hope you always know that your dad and I love you unconditionally and always will! We aren’t perfect, and we don’t expect you to be either. We will always be there for you to help you through any challenges you encounter. We will always try to listen first, and talk second. There will be times when we disagree but we will always try to see your point of view, and we just ask that you do the same in return. We will try to guide you without being overbearing, and to lead you by example. We promise to always provide a place for you called home!

Love,
mum

What I've Learned

Well, Carter is 6 months on the 14th and I just can't get over how fast the time has gone. In the last 6 months he's gone from a tiny newborn who only eats, sleeps, and poops, to a little man who also smiles, laughs, talks, plays, and has his own personality. Today I started thinking about all the things that have changed in my life in the last 6 months and the lessons I've learned. I thought I would share some of them with you (in no particular order):

I have the best husband in the world
You can make a lot of new friends after having a baby, even really great ones!
I can get through the day on 3 and a half hours sleep
Epiderals don't always work
Breastfeeding is hard, but worth it and it does get easier
I love shopping for all things baby!
6 month olds are so much fun
Lack of sleep makes me do some really stupid things - there is such a thing as baby brain, AKA sleep deprivation brain!
I was definitely meant to be a mom
Everyone has an opinion and they’d rather tell you theirs then ask you yours
Most people mean well so take it in stride
People love babies – people LOVE babies in sun glasses!
Thinking you might be pregnant when you have a 5 month old is scary!
Sitting at home all day makes me stir crazy
It's so important to accept help and to ask for it
Talking poop becomes a regular thing 
It’s important not to get caught up in the rough moments as they get better before you know it – but do get caught up in the good ones because they're gone before you know it
Hearing your baby cry is heartbreaking!
You care less about what others think of you when you have a baby
You care more about what happens to you when you have a baby
I have a lot more respect for single parents!
You see your friends less but the good ones don't hold it against you and don't stop calling
Every rough day is almost always followed by a good one
Babies make you smile more then you’ve ever smiled before
It is possible to love unconditionally
You can never “zip out” with a baby
Taking care of a baby is one big guessing game, but it feels amazing when you get it right!
Family naps are the best
It’s fun to be a kid and play with toys again
It’s fun to read all the children’s books you use to read... “Clang, clang, rattle, bing, bang. Gonna make my noise all day….”
I’m amazed at what my body can do 
Your life revolves around your baby - if it didn't you wouldn't be a very good parent
It's important to still have time to yourself - everyone needs a break sometimes, no matter what

I’m sure I could come up with many more but those are the ones off the top of my head! 

What have you learned?

5AM

I have a love hate relationship with 5am!

I hate it because it’s way too early to be up. However, Carter seems to love waking up at 5. He has done so every morning for the last 6 weeks or so. Don’t get me wrong, I know that I am sooo lucky that he sleeps for so long. Especially since he then eats and goes back to sleep until 7. My problem is that I can not get back to sleep after I get woken up. It’s like my body got so use to such little sleep that now it feels well rested after 6-7 hours. I’ve tried to go to bed earlier but that is even worse as I wake up earlier and can’t back to sleep!

I love 5am because it is one of my favourite times with Carter. When I go in to get him he starts shaking with excitement, lets out a little shriek and gives me the biggest smile! Then while I change him he rests his little right hand on my arm and leaves it there the whole time. I have to admit that I awkwardly change him as I don’t want to move my arm out of his reach. I love the feeling of his soft, dry hand on my arm (during the day it’s covered in slober - his and Pancho’s!). Then while I nurse him he closes his eyes and he is so peaceful. In the last few weeks he’s gotten so interested in everything else going on, that we rarely have a moment like this. He always falls asleep while nursing at this time but many nights I continue to hold him in my arms and just rock him.

For the last 4 nights we have just given Carter his soother at 5am and he has gone back to sleep without eating. Again, my love hate relationship continues. I love it because full nights of sleep seem so close I could touch them. But I hate it because it means I don’t get those peaceful moments with my baby. I know that he will continue to need me and we will have many other wonderful moments together. However, I will definitely miss our time together at 5am.

Being a Mum

Being a mum.

I love being a mum. I wake up each day excited for what the day will bring. I love watching Carter grow and learn. I love the way he shreiks with excitment when I go in his room in the morning (or even at 3am!) and the way his eyes light up when Dan gets home after work. I love the way he watches Pancho's every move and even how he opens his mouth when Pancho walks by him so Pancho can sneak him a kiss (or how he then smiles when we yell at Pancho to stop and Pancho walks away). I love how he spins in circles so much in his jolly jumper that it gets all twisted and he can hardly touch the ground, and how he catches me every time I try to take a candid picture of him. I love how he stops crying when I take him in my arms and how he loves my singing regardless of how awful it is. To me, he is absolutely perfect and I love him more then I have ever loved any one in my life (Dan a very close second - sorry hun!) There are times when I am laying on the couch with him while he naps and I just stare at him. I could do it for hours on end. 

I also find being a mum one of the hardest jobs anyone can have. This little human relies solely on you to take care of his every need. If you think about being solely responsible for someone else's every need you can imagine how hard it would be, and then imagine it with someone who can't tell you a single thing. You have to spend each day trying to anticipate their every need to avoid a meltdown - most likely from him and yourself! You eventually learn some of their cues and can tell when they are hungry or tired (or pooping, though I haven't learned that one yet), but then you wake up and there is a new cry and you have to try to figure out what it is. You'd think it would be easy, I mean, how many things could it possibly be, but when you've tried everything you can think of and your poor baby is still crying it could be exhausting trying to figure it out. You start questioning everything - is it something I ate?, am I not making enough milk?, did he not get enough sleep?, did he get too much?, does he need to start solid foods?, am I stressed and he's feeling it?, and the list goes on! 

And last but not least, being a mum is a HUGE responsibility. Aside from taking care of their every physical and emotional need, you are responsible for who they become as a person. They may have certain personality traits that are ingrained in their DNA but there is still a lot of who they are left up to you. You determine how much they learn in the crucial first 3 years of their lives (and you have to be careful not to over stimulate them or it can backfire), how they will treat others, the confidence they will have in themselves, the way they take care of themselves, and the list goes on. You have to make sure that you think about how what you do and say will affect them. For instance, Carter has a little whine that is absolutely hysterical. However, Dan and I have to make a point not to laugh when he does it as we don't want him to think we are laughing at him when he is upset. Other things are not so obvious, like letting a baby cry it out to fall asleep. Is it better for the baby to learn to fall asleep on their own (and therefore ensuring a well rested baby that is ready to learn and grow), or for them to feel that you will always tend to them when they are upset (and therefore ensuring confidence that you will always be there). 

Now, as you can see, being a mum is a big job! And the best way for me to ensure that I am setting the best example for my beautiful son is to make sure that I take care of myself. By living a healthier life I will ensure that I am able to make the best decisions I can for him until he learns to make them for himself. I will also ensure he learns how to be and stay healthy, that I will be able to play with him at the park and that I will be around to watch and help him learn and grow for many years to come. Then someday I just might be able to help him when he becomes a dad!