Memories

Well, the time has come again. Time for me to say good-bye to spending all day every day with my boys. Those that know me well, know this past year and a half has not been easy on me. Starting with 7.5 months of "morning" sickness, followed by 9.5 months of sleep deprivation that at times was so bad that I didn't know how I was going to make it. But that's not what I am going to remember.

I'm going to remember how excited I was to find out we were expecting. I'm going to remember sharing the news with friends and family, and cutting in to our blue cake! I'm going to remember seeing "JoJo" on the ultrasound machine, and the first time I got to hold my sweet baby boy in my arms. I'm going to remember the look on Carter's face the first time he saw Lincoln and how he compared his body to Lincoln's. I'll remember the first time Lincoln got to meet our friends and family, near and far.

Most importantly, I'm going to remember all the wonderful times I've had with my boys. Like the times Carter said "let's have a lazy pajama day and cuddle on the couch mum," and the times he would cry when Lincoln had to go have a nap because he "loves him." Learning all about dinosaurs, whales, and planets - "you be a blue compsognathus mum and I'll be a t-rex!"  Getting to watch Carter go from being a toddler to a funny, sweet, sensitive, and smart little boy. And watching Lincoln go from being a little baby to a little guy with loads of personality! Also, my days laying in bed cuddling with Lincoln all day so we could both try to catch up on some sleep. And seeing a smile that lights up a room every time he woke up and saw that he was laying next to me. I'll remember dancing with them both in the family room and the first time I saw Lincoln "dance" on his own. I'll remember all the extra family time we got to have and how blessed Dan and I are to have each other and our perfect little boys.

When I was on maternity leave after having Carter I made 9 new friends whose friendships I will cherish for the rest of my life. I will remember our play dates that went from 10 babies to 19! This time, I was lucky enough to have made another 80 friends. That's right, 80! Some of them have listened when I needed to talk, some have reminded me that I wasn't alone, some have made me laugh, some made me cry, some gave advice, some supported me, and some at times made me crazy. Some did all of the above! One kept me sane (you know who you are!) Time will only tell what will happen to all of those friendships, but I will definitely remember them fondly as well.

So although it's been a rough year and a half, it's memories like these that have made their mark and will stick out in my mind when I think back on this time.

He's 3

Ahhhhhh....we made it through the holidays. I love Christmas. Love it! But with two little ones it comes with a lot of stress added on to all the excitement. For Lincoln, it meant an interrupted routine, not eating enough (because he's too interested in everything around him to eat), and not getting to nap as much as usual. Anyone who has had a baby knows you have about a 5 minute window to get your baby down smoothly. Miss that window and you can guarantee you'll spend more time getting them down then they will sleep. For Carter, it means the occasional missed nap (tho, his naps are sporadic as it is these days) and a lot of emotions, good and not so good ones.

As an adult, or even an older child, excitement can be a lot of fun. I spend most of December being excited for Christmas. I love hearing Christmas music everywhere I go and shopping in busy stores (crazy, I know!). I love picking out gifts for people and doing Christmas baking. The thing is, I know what to expect. I know that we will get together with friends and family on multiple occasions over the holidays. I know when those get togethers will happen, who will be there, and when they will be over. I know that we will wake up Christmas morning, open presents, and then head over to Dan's parents place for the day. Carter, on the other hand, doesn't know what to expect. He knows that we are excited and he is too because he feels our excitement. But it is also overwhelming. A lot of comings and goings. A lot of unknowns.

Carter prefers to be at home (or at Gramma and Papa's since it's like a second home for him.) He wakes up in the morning asking if we are going to have a "lazy day", which to him means no going out, or if it's a "gramma day". If it's anything but one of those two types of days it's met with resistance. So it makes sense that when we are lacking in good old lazy days or gramma days, that it gets to be a bit much for him. Here he knows what to expect. He knows our routine, what his options for food/drinks are, where everything is, when his nap will be, and where he'll go the bathroom (yes, that one is very important).

There were a couple of occasions over the last two weeks where it was clear that it was a bit much for him. Like when we went to his baby group Christmas party and he sat on the drive-way refusing to go in. We compromised and agreed to go in for 10 min and then leave if he wanted to. He didn't. In fact he begged me to stay when it was time to go home. Other times that it was clear it was too much was when he would cry over what seemed like nothing, when he'd stick his tongue out instead of responding to a question, or when he'd hit someone (sorry Great Essey!) instead of saying hello.

Initially when these things were happening I was embarrassed. I felt like we must be doing something wrong. That we aren't teaching him proper manners, or...who knows. But then I realized, along with the help of some friends dealing with similar situations, that none of that it true. He's 3. That's it, he's 3. Although we can and should limit the amount of overwhelming situations for him, it's a part of life and would be a disservice to him to eliminate them all together. What we can do is just be understanding of where he's at right now. He needs us to keep things consistent whenever possible, to try to let him know what to expect, to listen, to make sure he gets a say, to be forgiving, and patient. We don't need to change him, or stress out about what we are doing right or wrong. We just need to love and accept him for who he is right now. Because he's 3, and by the time he's 4 or 5 he will have mastered skills that right now seem like too much, and then he'll face new challenges. It's all a part of life.