Patience is a Virtue

I never fully understood the importance of patience until Carter became a toddler. Anyone who has lived with a toddler knows that it's like living in a mad house. This person who is now walking and talking clearly, gives you the false impression that they are now a rational and reasonable human being. Wrong! One minute they are playing happily and the next they are crying that you gave them the wrong colour spoon, cut their sandwich the wrong way, or that you didn't make that Lego figurine jump the right way.

Although there is an array of logical reasons for their behavior, it can sometimes be like figuring out the most difficult mathematic theorem. However, one thing I have learned is that no toddler "fire" can't be put out with just a little patience.

Here is one of many examples of this from this past week:

The other night Carter was extra emotional. He hadn't napped in three days and it was definitely catching up with him. Unfortunately Lincoln was also having an emotional night. With the two of them whining simultaneously as if they were trying to make music, I was ready to pull my hair out. Carter was whining because he wanted us to play with him and then he was whining because we weren't playing right, or because he wanted help, but then because he didn't want help. I was cleaning up from dinner and getting more and more frustrated, to the point where I finally yelled "Carter! Stop whining!" I instantly felt guilty because I hated hearing that when I was a kid. Realizing that we were not getting anywhere by both getting more upset, I stopped what I was doing, grabbed his hand and walked him upstairs. He cried the whole way. I sat on his bed and just hugged him while he cried. After about a minute he stopped crying and sat down on his floor. I got down there with him. We talked about how sometimes we just need a break from what we are doing when it is upsetting us. I then asked if he wanted to read his book "when I'm feeling angry." He said no, that he wanted to read "when I'm feeling sad." After reading the book and talking about it we agreed that we were ready to go back downstairs. On the way down the stairs Carter said "I'm sorry for whining mum." Again, I instantly felt guilty for even uttering the words. I apologized for yelling. The rest of the night went so much better. The whole thing took about 5 min. If I hadn't taken that time to help him (and me) to take ourselves out of the situation it would have only gotten worse, not better.

Now, to try remember this whenever things get stressful. It's amazing what a 3 year old can teach you!

Carter Speak

My favourites from today:

*after realizing he peep on the toilet

Carter - ahhh, SHOOT! (at least it wasn't another sh word! :)

*after he "accidentally" pooped on the bathroom floor

Carter - I wish I was an adult!

Sara - why is that?

Carter - So I could pick up poop

*while I was putting lotion on him after his bath

Carter - I want to play with my ship

Sara - ok, just let me finish putting your lotion on you

Carter - so the ladies will loooove me!

New Me!

I'm 12 lbs down from the day I got married, the day I found out I was pregnant with Carter, and the day I found out I was pregnant with Lincoln. I had been that weight for far too long!

Luckily, I have the best motivation there is, my boys. I look at them and I'm so excited for the future. To get to watch them grow and learn is the best gift anyone could ask for. I'm so blessed, and how could I not want to enjoy it to the fullest!

They deserve to have a healthy mum. A mum who isn't tired all the time and a mum who has energy to run around and wrestle with. A mum who feels good about herself and who doesn't avoid being in front of the camera like it's the plague. And a mum who will teach them by example how to live a healthy life.

We never know in this life which day will be our last, but I want to make sure I don't do anything that will speed up the process!

I can do this!

Toddler Talk 2

I just love listening to Carter talk. The things he comes up with amazes me, or cracks me up, every day. Here's a few from the last 24 hours.

Yesterday, when I came down from feeding Lincoln and getting him down from nap Carter said "How's Link doing, mum?"

Carter told Dan he learned something at school. Dan reminded him that he doesn't go to school yet. Carter said in a very angry tone "yeah I did dad, when I was all. by. mySELF!"

He has started saying "this tired me out!" but yesterday, while play with his leap pad, he said "I'm getting tired of this!"

This morning as I was watching Dan and Carter walk down the pathway out front Carter turns to look at me. He pauses for a second and then says "just don't pinch your fingers in the door!"

Love him!

Dear Lincoln

Dear Lincoln,

First let me say, I know this looks to be the same exact letter that I wrote your brother when he was 6 months, but I really do hope the same for both of you, and couldn't think of a better way to say it (sorry, I blame your lack of sleep for my lack of creativity!) :)

At only 6 months, you are already growing up so fast. Yet, you are still so perfect in every way! You do not lie, cheat, or steal. You do not gossip, judge, or hate. You accept anyone and everyone. You love unconditionally and never hold a grudge. You only want for what you need, and you need very little to be happy. I thought I would take this time, before time gets away on me, to let you know some of my hopes for you as you grow up.

I hope that you cherish your family and your friends. In life, very little can make you happier than the people you surround yourself with. All good relationships have both give and take so make sure to treat others as you would want to be treated. Treat strangers with respect, as they could someday be your friend. Try to give people the benefit of the doubt as it's so much easier on you and them. 

I hope you always know how special you are and that you always accept who you are. There may be times when you don't know exactly who that is, but that is all part of the journey. If you accept that and give it time it will become clearer. If you ever feel completely lost and lonely, I hope you know you can always come home for a reminder of who you are (and lots of love and hugs!) Always know that you can do anything you set your mind to. It may be a challenge at times, and you may need to ask for help along the way, but you can do it. 

I hope you can find success in your life. Success is not a dollar amount, a certain job, or who your friends are. It's finding the things and people in your life that truly make you happy. There will be things you have to do in life out of responsibility and obligation, but always try to make time for the things that make you happy! Try not to take anything too seriously. All hard times pass in time, and happiness is just around the corner.

Last and certainly not least, I hope you always know that your dad and I love you unconditionally and always will! We aren't perfect, and we don't expect you to be either. We will always be there for you to help you through any challenges you encounter. We will always try to listen first, and talk second. There will be times when we disagree but we will always try to see your point of view, and we just ask that you do the same in return. We will try to guide you without being overbearing, and to lead you by example. We promise to always provide a place for you called home!

Love,
mum

Carter's Birthday Weekend

Well, my little man turned 3 today. We had a weekend full of parties to celebrate. First there was the party with his friends. There was: 

Swimming

Food

Cake

Fun

Friends

Ball Pit

Then Sunday we had the family party:

Link hanging out with gramma

Three kings

Fireman in the house

Showing off his muscles

Kustermann's Berry Farm

For the last three years we have gone to a farm on the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend. Here are some pics from this years outing:

A Zoo of a Day!

Yesterday was definitely a crazy day. Well, crazy for me anyway. Mostly because 10 min before we left for Greenview Aviaries Park & Zoo Dan realized he was coming down with the flu Carter and I had early in the week. So we went on without him!

Things were not looking good on the way there. With in 5 minutes on the road I knocked Carter's drink all over the floor of the van and had to listen to him say repeatedly "don't do it again mum!" Then he realized his lovey had "crusty's" on it, which later turned out to be poop! Awesome!

The rest of the ride was actually really nice. Lincoln slept the whole way so Carter and I got to chat. He even taught me how you play catch. It went like this:

Carter - "Mum, I want a big football"

Me - "oh yeah, maybe we should put
it on your wish list."

Carter - "do you know how to play catch?"

Me - "yes, I do!"

Carter - "What you do is, you throw the ball to someone and they catch it. Then they throw the ball to you and you catch it."

Me - "sounds like fun."

Carter - "do you want to play catch with me some time?"

Me - "I'd love to!"

Luckily I had help there and Carter had his buddies Connor, Evan, and Keira there to keep him occupied. I think the best thing I heard all day was Connor's realization about Lincoln's gender while I changed Lincoln's diaper.

Connor - "Lincoln's a boy!?!"

Me - "yes, what did you think he was?"

Connor - "a girl!"

Me - "nope, he's a boy!"

Connor - "So when he grows up he's going to have a big penis?!"

Me - "Most likely!"

Gotta love em'!

Here's the one picture I got all day! Being a single parent at the zoo for the day with two kids doesn't leave much time for picture taking. Luckily I have some on order from Jay and Kelly! Unfortunately Keira had gone home by this point but seeing how she preferred the tractors over the animals, she would have fit right in!

Father's Day 2012!

We celebrated a day early this year. When I went in to Carter's room to get him this morning the first thing he said was "dad open his presents now?" and it was followed by "can Linky come to Father's Day too?" The rest of the day followed with as much excitement. As I like to do, here is our day in pictures....

Carter keeping Lincoln company while we make Dan a surprise Father's Day breakfast!

Mmm, blueberry pancakes!

Gifts for Dan!

Our home made gift!  

After Dan opened his gifts Carter asked if we had any more for gifts for dad. I told him no, but that we were taking dad out for lunch. He turned to Dan wide eyed and said, "You so lucky!!!"

Before lunch we got to go see Evan at Little Gym but unfortunately I forgot to bring my phone in with us to get some pictures. He did great though!

Then Carter and Dan took their dad's out for lunch to Boss Hogs! We could have fed twice as many people with the amount of food they gave us. Oh, and Linda's eyes are open in a picture - it's a Father's Day miracle! :)

Both boys had a nap on our way home!

We decided to let them sleep!

Then the water fun began!

Splish splash!

Dan made it rain!

Until Carter got a hold of the gun!

Payback!

Blocking!

Visit from a ladybug!

Cranky baby!

Nothing a soother and a blanket beside his face won't fix!

Nap time for daddy and Pancho! (until one of the boys squirted him in the back of the head!)

Drying off!

Someone's hungry!

Bedtime stories with all the boys!

As of 8:30 all the males in the house were asleep. I'd say that's a sign of a great day!

Toddler Talk!

Every time Carter and I go for a car ride I always think to myself that I wish I was taping our conversation. Today on the way home from gramma and papa's I decided to write it all down as soon as I got home. Here it goes...

Carter is in bold.

I don't want to go home
We have to go home and have dinner. We are having hot dogs.
What you said?
Hot dogs
I say hoT doG. It's hard to say with gum in your mouth. (I was chewing gum.)
Yes, it is!
I don't want to go home.
Why not?
I want to live at gramma's
Wouldn't you miss us? (no response)
What did you do at gramma's?
We blow bubbles. That one didn't work. Maybe the yellow one will work. I don't want to go home. Hey, what's that guy doing?
He's running.
He's jogging!
Maybe he's chasing those kids on their bikes.
Maybe!
I don't want to go home. Who lives in there?
I don't know. Who do you think would live in there?
Maybeee raccoons! They could sleep on the branches.
I don't want to go home.
Hey, there's an extra Tim Hortons (we took a different way home so it was a Timmies he hadn't seen before).
What's that?
I'm not sure. What are you looking at?
It's a red dump truck! That guy's taking a break. (there was a guy standing beside the truck).
I think you are right!
What's he eating?
Who?
Lincoln, he's chewing. Maybe it's spit up. We clean it up when we get home!
Is Lincoln awake?
Nope.
We go up the hill and then down the hill.
I don't want to go home.
1, 2, 3
What are you counting?
My fingers. 1, 1, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. I have 7 fingers!
What is this one?
Which one? Hold it up so I can see.
This one!
Oh, that's your pinky finger!
My finger nails are pink. I have orange hands.
I don't want to go home.
Lincoln's awake. Sometimes he opens his eyes and then he closes his eyes.
Yes he does!
Why we go this way?
Because it's quicker!
Why we go this way?
Because it's quicker then the other way.
Why?
Because everyone is coming home from work now.
Hey, there is two blue signs on that house. Why?
I'm not sure.
Maybe because they are going to dig!
Maybe!
Why we go this way?
Because its quicker!
I don't want to go home. 
Where's Connor Evan?
They are inside with their Gramma!
Their gramma's name is Eleanor. My gramma's name is (very slowly) gramma. 
Gramma, papa
Is Eleanor going to come out?
At some point she will.
I want a cookie (papa gave him two to bring home - one broken in half and one full one.)
Not until after dinner.
I WANT IT NOW!
Carter
Pleeeeese
How about we compromise. You can have half of the broken one now and the rest after dinner.
I want the other one! (points to the full one)

A Couple Thorns

Just to make it clear that things aren't all sunshine and roses over here, I thought I would talk about some of our harder adjustments with a new family member!

For me it's the obvious, lack of sleep! When I had Carter I felt tired from the broken sleep but I've never felt exhaustion like I have over the last month. I'm so tired that many days my whole body aches. At times I've cried at just the thought of having to get up to get myself a drink. My body is just not use to such little sleep!

Carter was a dream sleeper (and still is). Our first night home with him, Dan and I both got 9 hours sleep. It was broken into 3 hour chunks but it was still 9 hours. And it continued like that until he started sleeping longer and longer, getting up to 12-13 hours straight a night. To this day he still sleeps 11-12 hours straight. We had a few tiring nights due to teething or sickness but over all they were few and far between.

Lincoln on the other hand is no where near being a dream sleeper. That being said, he's not a bad sleeper, he's just a normal newborn sleeper. He usually gets one good chunk of sleep (3-5 hours) but then they go to 2 hour chunks and every other night or so I'm up with him for 2+ hours at a time. I have occasionally asked Dan to take over when Link is fed and just not sleepy, but Dan's been watching Carter all day, every day (and Link too when I try to nap) so for the most part I'm on my own at night. Now that Dan's back at work it's a little harder because my only chance for a nap is if I can get both kids to nap at the same time, which is not an easy task!

The other contributing factor to my exhaustion is breastfeeding. Anyone that has done it knows how hard and tiring the first few weeks can be while your supply is catching up. It's almost non stop nursing. Luckily, Link is starting to get on a three hour schedule which is doing a lot for my sanity. Until the next growth spurt that is! And the other plus is that it eventually becomes easier then the alternative since it's always there and ready! Not to mention all the health benefits for both of us that make it worth it no matter what!

Since Dan has gone back to work this week I've started to really see how life has changed for Carter. Before Lincoln was born Carter had our attention almost all the time. And when we were at work, he had gramma or papa here. He has always been fine playing on his own if we were cleaning or cooking but other then that we have been almost constant entertainment for him.

The good news is, although we definitely have our moments (tantrums and tears like never before), for the most part he is adjusting really well. He is eating at the table, sometimes by himself for breakfast or lunch, without someone reading to him. He's playing on his own a lot while I'm nursing or comforting Lincoln. And yesterday he played in the backyard by himself (while I watched from the kitchen). I think the last one was harder on me then him but in the end I got to see the benefits of his new found freedom. He managed to get toys out of the deck box that previously required our assistance, he bumped his head without a tear (what's the point if there is no one there to kiss your boo boo), and he managed to get himself unstuck from his play house window. So in the end, as hard as it may be, I really see these adjustments as good ones for Carter. I think it will give him more independence and confidence. Lately if I'm feeding Lincoln, and Carter throws something, I will threaten to take it away but he says "I take it away" and he throws the toy in the laundry room and shuts the door!

And last but not least, is poor Pancho! He loves Carter and Link but he's not a fan of losing a lot of his attention. After Carter was born Pancho started sighing a lot. His sighs have increased since Lincoln was born. When Carter came home from the hospital Pancho would run to his room when he cried the first few weeks. He has never done that for Link. And one night when Link was sleeping with us and started crying Pancho jumped off the bed and in to a chair in our room to sleep, which he had never done before. Poor doggy!

All in all, I think these are just regular adjustments going from one child to two. As exhausted as I am it is all worth it! I wouldn't trade my life and family for a thing!

I mean, who wouldn't want one of these...

What Being a Mother Means to Me!

In the spirit of Mother's Day, I thought it was a good day to reflect on what being a mother means to me. Believe it or not, some of my views have changed just in the last month. When they say every kid is different they sure aren't lying. What worked for Carter doesn't work for Link.

Just like every adult learns, acts, and reacts differently to things, so do children. I think this is the most important lesson I've learned over the last two and a half years. It's so important to learn your child's strengths, weakness', and quirks. And it's not about fixing them, it's about working with them and teaching our children how to do the same!

To me, being a mother also means...

*trusting your instincts
*putting your children first
*putting yourself first sometimes too (hello "me" time!)
*you are a fool to not accept help when offered
*hugs and kisses whenever you want, at least for now!
*losing sleep, a lot of it!
*swearing as you get out of bed at 3am and then feeling more love then you can handle two seconds later when you walk in to your child's room and see them
*reading advise from experts and then forgetting 80% of it because it doesn't work for you...on to the next book!
*being a helicopter parent
*trying not to be a helicopter parent
*smiling and nodding every time someone assumes every whimper your child makes means they are hungry
*having the magical power to fix boo-boo's with just a kiss
*never ending worry
*never ending love

There's probably a million more I could come up with but it's literally taken every free second today, and not free second (I'm nursing right now), to write this so that will have to do!

Oh, and *being very very busy ALL the time!