First Day of School

Dear Carter,

What a big day! Today was your first day at school. In the grand scheme of things this probably won't seem like a big day to you, but it sure was for me. I was almost in tears multiple times over the last two days thinking about you going off on your own on the bus and to school. I feel like it was just yesterday that I brought you home from the hospital and it just doesn't seem possible that you are now going to school. 

The good news is, I never cried, and that's thanks to you. You were so excited and ready to face the challenge of school. This morning you kept asking when we could leave and you got right on that bus like you didn't have a fear in the world. When you got off the bus at school and saw me there you said "hi mum" and just kept on going. I was the one following you around instead of the other way around! Once I showed you where you line up, you gave me a big hug and said "ok mum, go home!" 

Your strength and courage helped me find some of my own. It helped me focus on all the good this big step will bring for you. It's hard to believe that just a few months ago you were scared of school and to be on your own.  I know there may be bumps in the road ahead but you are so ready for this. Just remember that if you ever need help with some of those bumps, mum and dad will be here for you. Always. I'm so proud of you!

Love, 

mum

I Will Remember

Dear Lincoln,

You probably won't remember this, but I promise you that I will. Every night before bed and when I'm lucky enough to be home before nap, we rock. I get you changed and then ask you if you want to cuddle. I always get a big smile and your exaggerated node. 

You are a busy little man who never stops moving. You spend your days climbing furniture, getting in to or out of things, and proving to us that there is no such thing as Lincoln proof. The only time you sit still is for about 10 seconds when you jump on the couch beside your brother and try to imitate him watching tv. Only you can't do it. Your little body must move.

But before nap and bed you finally cuddle up to me and give that body of yours a break. You put your head on my shoulder and in the crook of my neck. It fits so perfectly there. As do your legs around my stomach, and your hands on my arms. When you aren't tired enough yet you tap your little fingers on my arm. You lay there and I can feel your heart beat, as I'm sure you can feel mine. Your little body usually twitches a few times while it tries to relax. 

I usually move you to your crib while you are still awake but sometimes I just can't. Sometimes, when I feel you become heavy as you drift off to sleep I feel like there is no where else I'd rather be. I usually sit there soaking it in. I'll admit that sometimes I'm just so relieved that you are finally asleep (for your sake and/or mine), but then I remember that I'm going to miss this someday. I'm going to miss feeling your heart beat, hearing your breath, and having you fit so perfectly cuddled up on my lap. 

But I will always remember.

Love,

mum