The Truth!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, parenting is hard. I feel like I am so blessed to have an amazing husband and two happy healthy little boys, but that doesn't mean this whole parenting thing is easy. I struggle with it almost every day.  I had a friend recently say "you must be so happy!" I cried. At the time I was going through a particularly hard time. I equate it to feeling like a hamster on a wheel that just keeps going and going but not getting anywhere. The truth is, I am. I am raising two amazing little boys but sometimes it's hard to see when trying to get through the endless things on our "to do" list.

Although I think it's important to be honest about how hard parenting is so others don't feel like they must be doing something wrong if they are struggling, I don't like to post about that stuff on Facebook. The last thing I would ever want is for my kids to one day look back at my Facebook status' and see me complaining about them or my life with them. I want them to see how much I love them, how much fun we have together, and the special memories we made together. I don't want to remember the hard moments because they are just that, moments. They aren't what I will remember when I think back on this time. They aren't the moments I will wish I could re-live for one more day. 

The only time I want to remember the hard moments is when I see a friend going through the same struggles I've been through so I remember to reach out a helping help, or a supportive ear. I want to remember them when/if Carter and Lincoln have kids of their own someday. I hope I remember how hard it is to be sleep deprived so I will offer to watch the kids for the night. Or I'll remember how literally impossible it is to have a clean home with kids so I will offer my helping hand around the house. I hope to remember how much pressure there is to do everything right so I remind them that they are doing a great job and that everything will be okay. 

I feel that only when they have kids of their own would they fully understand how I could love them more then anything, while at the same time wishing they would just leave me alone for 5 min! How I couldn't imagine my life without them, but some days I miss the freedom of doing whatever I want, whenever I want. How just the sound of them waking up could bring me to tears some days because my body is so tired that I don't know how I'm surviving. How I can be so excited for some time to myself and then minutes into that time I start crying because I miss them (ok, maybe they will never get that one- they are boys after all). 

So to all my friends that are parents, I get it. This is such an amazing and wonderful journey we are on, but such a hard one too. You aren't alone.